Your anxiety is the cost you have to bear every time you get out there and take a chance on someone. Not everyone is worth this cost. — I used to have severe anxiety when it came to dating. Meeting new people, waiting for text messages, confirming plans, not knowing where the relationship is going could hurt me physically. Dating wasn’t fun. Dating was a constant battle of fighting all my ugly thoughts about myself, all my doubts…

Stop the free labour. — I admit it: I was never taught to cook and clean, and I’m grateful for it. Okay, hear me out. Before you shout cooking and cleaning are essential skills, yes, I agree with you. I do know how to cook and clean, and I do cook and clean. The point…

No one is worth losing yourself over. — When I was single and dating, I met someone who made a strong impression on me. We were quick to get together. And he was quick to cross a boundary, of which I didn’t quite understand the significance at the time. I just knew I had grown attached to him…

My needs for intimacy and closeness are valid. — Growing up, I was taught many bad things about love by my absent (now-estranged) father: love is busy, love is distant, and love is coming second to his job. Later on, with this blueprint of love and relationships, I got attached to unavailable, emotionally inept guys and learned worse things…

Especially relevant if you have an anxious attachment style — For my birthday this year, my husband asked me what I wanted, but I couldn’t think of a thing. I’ve already had everything I want and need, and if there’s anything else, I can buy it myself or my husband already gets it for me like an everyday thing. (He…

A lesson from my 28th birthday — I turned 28 a few days ago. Here are some highlights of my 27: Became a permanent resident of the UK (waited 10 years for this!) Quit a corporate job just like that Started freelancing Created a dating course I’ve always wanted to share and enrolled many awesome clients Pivoted from Medium to journalism Found a better…

Be honest with yourself. — You think you love them, but deep down, you want them to change. You wish they could be more attentive, or generous, or emotional, or anything else. When you’re faced with the evidence that they’re not who you want them to be, instead of walking away, you hold on and…

Self-awareness is a gift. Don’t waste it. — Dating can be confusing. People often torture themselves with seemingly self-conflicting questions, “Why did he stay with me if he didn’t want to commit to me?”, “Why is he jealous if he isn’t into me?”, “Why did he cuddle me after sex if he only wanted friends with benefits?” But…

How I find the reasons to publish again — I live a good life now. To get here, I’ve learned many lessons. Being here has also opened my eyes to many valuable things. All in all, I have a lot to share. I know my sharing would be useful to other people. In fact, it has been useful. But…