Being Emotional And Overthinking Turned Me Into A Loveless Mess

How I changed to enjoy my present and have a happy marriage

Ellen Nguyen

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Photo by Emma Simpson on Unsplash

I used to believe I was cursed for my excessive emotions and constant overthinking, and there was no way out. Fortunately, in my mid-20s, I found a path to change my life completely. For several years now, I have been enjoying a lighter, more secure, and happier life, and I want to share my journey and how I did it.

My Life As An Anxious Overthinker

I’m an introvert. I’m also a Cancerian woman, one of the most emotional signs of the zodiac, which certainly describes me well. I couldn’t help but think and feel deeply. As a child, I was always scribbling. I had a blog and enjoyed writing about my experiences, thoughts, and feelings.

My mind was constantly active, and my unique family situation added to the complexity. I grew up separately from my two sisters, living with my grandparents while I stayed with my parents. My father, often absent and with a quick temper, had a significant impact on me. He was rarely available and highly critical of me. I felt unseen and denied, leading to the development of an anxious attachment style over time.

Throughout my teenage years and into my early 20s, anxiety took hold, intensifying my thoughts and emotions negatively. It was a painful existence, making it challenging to navigate daily life. In romantic relationships, I became needy, experiencing physical pain if I didn’t receive a prompt response from a date, and even suffering panic attacks after breakups. Every step in dating became a major ordeal. Social settings, including work and networking events, were fraught with self-doubt. I couldn’t interact confidently, always second-guessing myself. These constant overwhelming thoughts and emotions turned me into my own worst critic.

Living in the moment was a distant dream. Spontaneity was impossible, and I felt ashamed for even thinking and feeling anything at all…

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Ellen Nguyen

Freelance writer & digital creator | London based | Psychology BSc. Editor of LovefulMind.com, empowering women.