Do You Value Your Attention and Use it to Your Advantage in Dating? Here’s How.

I desperately sought attention and approval from others, forgetting that my own attention was also valuable.

Ellen Nguyen

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Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Have you ever felt that you’re mindlessly giving away your attention, feeling undervalued or not appreciated enough? It’s a widespread issue in dating, where it’s crucial to understand how to value and effectively use your attention.

I’ve experienced this myself. When my self-esteem was low, I desperately sought attention and approval from others, forgetting that my own attention was also valuable. I used to get upset with people who contacted me inconsistently or send them numerous texts when they went silent. By doing this, I unknowingly taught them that they could get my attention simply by ignoring or disrespecting me.

Learning that my attention is valuable was tough, but it’s true — where and how I direct my attention significantly affects my life quality. Whether I realised it or not, the manner and timing of giving my attention sends distinct messages. I found that truly valuing my attention and having confidence in myself was only possible with enough self-esteem.

4 Examples that show you don’t value your attention enough in dating

Imagine attention in dating as if it were money. Spending it recklessly or on the wrong people can lead to unexpected problems. Let’s examine some ways you might be too easily giving your attention away in dating:

Responding Too Quickly to Texts Too Many Times

Receiving many messages from someone you like can be exciting. But always replying immediately, even when you’re busy, might show that you’re seeking approval or afraid of losing their interest. Remember, your time is precious, and it’s fine to reply when it suits you. This shows you have your own life outside of dating, which is appealing.

Being Overly Generous with Praise Before Knowing Someone

Complimenting someone too much, particularly before you really know them, sets high expectations that might be…

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Ellen Nguyen

Freelance writer & digital creator | London based | Psychology BSc. Editor of LovefulMind.com, empowering women.