Don’t Choose People You Can’t Love
Be honest with yourself.
You think you love them, but deep down, you want them to change.
You wish they could be more attentive, or generous, or emotional, or anything else.
When you’re faced with the evidence that they’re not who you want them to be, instead of walking away, you hold on and blame it on yourself.
You think — maybe you’re not good enough. Maybe if you’re just a bit better, they would be the person you want them to be. Maybe you’re even addicted to feeling unwanted.
Meanwhile, they don’t know what’s wrong yet.
They just know that no matter what they do, they can’t make you fully happy.
They register that being themselves is not enough for you.
So they withdraw.
But the more indifferently they act, the harder you cling to them— your low self-esteem, anxious attachment style, or past trauma immediately acts up.
You torture yourself with self-doubt and questions.
You conclude that it’s your fault. Your expectations must be too high. You should lower your standards. Either way, something about you is wrong.
