I Finally Understand Why I Never Had A Serious Relationship
I no longer identify with the girl I was but I had so much empathy for her.
I’ve been with my husband for three years and married for half a year.
Before meeting my husband, I’d never had a serious relationship.
None of my past relationships lasted longer than eight months, and the eight-month relationship happened when I was a teenager.
It doesn’t matter anymore, but back then, I was very insecure about it.
I thought something was wrong with me. Every break-up was intense and painful. I believed I was unloveable. I was desperate to fix myself.
And sure, I did.
I had a long list of things that were wrong with me and I fixed them one by one in therapy and through many other self-investments.
What I was wrong about, though, was that I wasn’t unloveable. I was loveable, I just didn’t know how to love myself and choose the people who were capable of loving me too.
I even had evidence of that.
The other day, I found a bunch of saved Whatsapp chat files between me and some significant exes — significant not because we were serious but because they left a big emotional…
