IN THE DIARY
The Easiest Things to Write About
The easiest things to write about are the things you know daily.
For me, it’s my relationship with my dear partner.
Since the beginning of the first UK lockdown, we have been inseparable. In fact, we have spent so much time together that whenever I pause to acknowledge it, I often feel quite bemused. Needless to say, we know a lot about each other, and I have a lot to say about our relationship.
But I’ve been holding myself back from writing about our relationship because of many reasons.
Firstly, I want to protect my privacy. My relationship is no longer just a relationship — it has become quite literally my daily life because we do everything together.
Secondly, writing about something forces you to put it into perspective and make sense of it instead of being present.
In this relationship, I’ve always been truly myself and fully present, which gives me so much joy and fulfillment. But it also means I haven’t had a chance to mentally separate myself from the relationship and properly reflect on it — not to mention it’s growing and taking on new meanings each day, which makes the whole process beautifully challenging.
Thirdly — and frankly, I’m not sure if I’m ready to do so. I feel very protective of my relationship and my partner.
To put it simply, I respect and care for my partner immensely. I’m worried that the words I try to type out would sound frustratingly hollow in comparison with the way I feel about our relationship and him. It’s hard to describe.
To me, the clearest evidence of love is seen while being present with each other.
Even though we have check-ins, it doesn’t take those retrospective talks for us to convey our feelings and intentions. It’s because we already show love for each other in the little daily interactions we have, in the plans we look forward to, in the secret language only we speak. We say “Love you” for small things, big things, and nothing at all.
It’s so simple that it becomes profound. It’s so clear that it becomes shiny. It’s so easy that it becomes precious.
I thought, as an introvert, I was fine with the lockdowns, but after eight-month being inside four walls and spending time with almost no one but my partner, I now do see how strange this year has been.
Quarantining together has intensified our relationship and made it so significant to both of our lives that writing about it in a 600-word internet article without context feels rather unfitting. It doesn’t do justice to the depth and weight of our experiences.
Well, it’s 3 am in London and my partner is sleeping next to me.
Tomorrow when he wakes up, he will ask me about my sleep and my dreams, he will make breakfast for us, he will bring vitamins and water to bed for me, and he won’t be pleased to find out that I’m still awake at this hour.
See, my brain could very quickly translate all those little things he does into “he cares about me and loves me.” I don’t need to effortfully make sense of anything in our relationship — I just know it because it is obvious and constant.
Love is obvious and constant between us and in our shared life.
So, while I can’t freely write about the easiest things to write about just yet, I feel deeply grateful to spend almost every hour of my days and ride through the pandemic with my partner.
With him by my side, writing about anything would get easy.