The Truth about Levelling up in Relationships

I didn’t level up to be worthy of love.

Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

Once upon a time, I thought if I could become less emotional, have a cooler job, make more money and lose a few pounds, I’d finally be loved.

To the younger me, the point of levelling up was about becoming worthy of love.

When a guy liked me and stopped liking me, I believed it was something I did. It was something about me. I was the reason.

I must’ve been too emotional, too anxious, too crazy, and that made me unworthy of love.

So, if I could change, the outcome would be different, regardless of who the person I dated was.

If I could change, they wouldn’t pull away. They would be crazy for me. We would end up together.

Now, as a more mature person, I see very clearly that this thinking was flawed.

There are two variables in the equation. Me and the other person.

I always assumed “the other person” was a fixed variable while I was the changeable one. They were “just the way they are” while I was wrong and needed to be fixed.

The reality is that both variables are changeable and responsible for the outcome of the relationship.