Two Most Important Values in A Serious Romantic Relationship

Can they cherish you every day?

Ellen Nguyen


Photo by Matt Reiter on Unsplash

I used to watch movies and shows to learn about love.

Now, as someone who’s about to get married in a month, I realise that I no longer need to learn about love from fiction which is often flawed anyway. I know what love is to me. I’m experiencing it every day. I’ve absorbed it. I’m better because of it.

No matter how realistic movies and shows try to be, the credits always roll. There’s no guarantee that a happy ending will go on forever. One moment in time might be memorable but it doesn’t define the continuing present — not for long.

A fancy dinner, a trip abroad, or an expensive piece of jewellery might seem like a big deal, but it’s only a moment in time. What’s hard is to show that interest, care, and love every single day. What’s hard is to build a foundation underneath it all even when it’s inconvenient and requires effort.

A man can give you a lasting impression of his momentary interest in you, but can he demonstrate it day in and day out, genuinely, wholeheartedly? Can he cherish you for life?

To me, the two most important values in love — and perhaps even in life — are consistency and patience.

In fact, all the great things in my life have come from these two values.

Because of these two values, I know the person I’m marrying is the best for me.

There were people who told me they liked me, loved me, missed me, wanted to see me, bought me gifts, or took me out on nice dates. But none of that held any weight for me because there was no consistency and patience.

Their interest was unreliable and unreliability has no place in a serious relationship. Deep down, I couldn’t trust them.

In some cases, I didn’t like them enough to allow their consistency and patience. I didn’t need these values from them.

Every woman and every person has to decide for themselves what they value the most and what it is that they want.

I’m a woman who’s interested in having one serious partner and security in life…



Ellen Nguyen

Freelance writer & digital creator | London based | Psychology BSc. Editor of, empowering women.